Know what I hate? Just hate hate hate?

10 Nov

Finding out, story by story what a friggin’ EPIDEMIC of infidelity is out there. Why this should surprise me I don’t know; hell the stats have been out for decades about one in every 2 marriages ending in divorce. All those divorces aren’t due to infidelity, but it probably plays a role in at least half of them. So why am I surprised?

Maybe because when it hit me, it was a meteor from the sky, flattening, burning and nearly extinguishing me. To read statistics is one thing; to be one quite another. There are no “statistics”, just real live persons in pain. Statistics mean we are counted, that’s all.

Since my journey through the fire each woman – flesh and blood or cyber friend – who relates something similar is not relating a mere story. They are not statistics either.

And if I’m not, and they aren’t, then no one is. There is a world wide epidemic of screaming, bleeding women, cut through their psyches, reduced to their knees. Is that it, then? Are we that dulled, that enveloped in our own illusions that only raw pain, of this sort or another, can ever really REACH us?

I know it’s not just women; I know men are betrayed as well. Hell I was no angel in past years. But when I was less than loyal, I wasn’t in love. Somehow I thought it wasn’t “really” real – there wasn’t a real love to cheat against. But all I was doing was excusing myself, I am sure; finding ways to redefine my actions so they didn’t feel so sh*tty. Anyway, I got my karma – I got it where it hurt. Went from someone who never really believed in “that kind of love”, to someone who was living it, reveling in it – to someone who was nearly slayed by it. And wonder of wonders, we both returned from the near dead, new hearts and all.

May everyone have the fairytale ending. Maybe that is what this is – survivor’s guilt.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: